Cuts to benefits
Don't worry if you can't afford to feed yourself or your family. You're probably needing to lose a bit of weight anyway so it's all for the best.
Victim of rape
Lucky for you the government provides benefits assessors who want to know all the hideous details of your rape. Look on it as a good chance to have a natter and get things out in the open.
Being eaten by wild animals
Who wouldn't want to do their bit for wildlife?
Victim of the Black Death
An escape from grinding poverty. There was nothing much to do in the Middle Ages anyway.
Having your leg sawn off in a saw mill
Think of the money you'll save on shoes.
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